I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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