i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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