Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
