I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
