you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
