I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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