she looked like the before picture.
you didnt know i had herpes?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
