I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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