i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
