I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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