You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize