i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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