He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
