a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
