Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize