and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
