I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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