may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
