I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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