I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
