I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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