if i can run in heels then i can drive
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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