Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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