i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
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She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
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You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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