I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I believe in your delicious
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
