You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
