forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
we should paint friendship bongs
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