My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
