her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.