dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love