someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
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Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
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i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.