We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize