; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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