I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
