The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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