He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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