I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize