I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
