You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
