I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize