Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
