Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned

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(703): View more from Virginia

Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(561): View more from Florida

So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..

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(425): View more from Washington

I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.

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(925): View more from California

Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!

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