i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...