ADVERTISEMENT

• (586): View more from Michigan

  i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning

  Fav 33 3378 1041

  share tweet
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.

  Fav 19 5002 1913

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (530): View more from California

  Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud

  Fav 18 5477 1174

  share tweet
  

• (219): View more from Indiana

  i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her

  Fav 42 8315 1654

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.

  Fav 18 6845 1515

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...

  Fav 5 2106 1230

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (623): View more from Arizona

  Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer

  Fav 4 887 1461

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left

  Fav 16 1104 2729

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.

  Fav 1 1261 749

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (731): View more from Tennessee

  Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...

  Fav 22 1780 1015

  share tweet
  

• (573): View more from Missouri

  I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.

  Fav 5 1091 736

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (440): View more from Ohio

  If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands

  Fav 0 811 497

  share tweet
  

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.

  Fav 3 882 664

  share tweet
  

• (325): View more from Texas

  I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.

  Fav 3 943 470

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.

  Fav 0 641 349

  share tweet
  

Randomize