My nipple is on Facebook.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"