Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
