We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
