im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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