i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
