Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
