i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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