is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
