Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
