He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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