just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
