is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
