She said her name was "party"
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
