She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
