sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
