real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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