a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
