Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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